Posted by chicagomedia.org on March 07, 2009 at 13:41:41:
Ode to Springer show sure to send Jerry off in customary style
Phil Rosenthal | Chicago Tribune Media
March 8, 2009
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Barring an unexpected snag in negotiations, "The Jerry Springer Show" looks to leave Chicago after this TV season, lured to Connecticut by tax credits to the tune of 30 percent of production costs.
But before Springer's swan song in Chicago, where his program has been based for 17 of its 18 years, the man whose daily rumbles have inspired an opera is staging a contest for viewers to create their own original song about the program.
Details and rules are available at www.jerryspringertv.com, and the deadline to submit song videos is the end of March. The top three finalists will win a trip to Chicago?which has to be more exciting than a trip to Stamford, Conn., even if it's only 30 miles from Manhattan?and the grand prize winner will get $5,000, which would go a long way toward one's dental bills.
"Springer Singer Search" wants to hear from America's idle. Entries will be judged on originality, knowledge of the show, creativity and musical talent. The songs do not have to be performed on banjo.
"Give us your best shot America," Springer said in a statement. "We want to see your version of 18 seasons of 'The Jerry Springer Show' put to music."
Lyrics shouldn't be too hard. "DNA tests" and "T & A guests" rhyme. So do "cheating" and "beating," "trailers" and "sailors," "VD" and "seedy," "jail" and "bail," "losers" and "boozers," and "mother" and "brother." Anyone know a good rhyme for "transvestite?"
The pity is it has to be an original song. You could fill a juke box with singles already out there.
Among the shove, kick and hit parade:
"Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves";
"Daddy's Drinking Up Our Christmas";
"Find 'Em, Fool 'Em & Forget 'Em";
"Ain't Gonna Bump No More (with No Big Fat Woman)";
"A City Girl Stole My Country Boy";
"Believe Half of What You See (and None of What You Hear)";
"Hardest Part of Breaking Up (is Getting Back Your Stuff)";
"Don't Call Me Sweetie ('Cause I'm Bitter)";
"Big Leg Woman (with a Short Short Mini-Skirt)";
"Brother-in-Law (He's a Moocher)";
"Got to See If I Can't Get Mommy (To Come Back Home)";
"Don't Sleep in the Subway";
And maybe, just maybe, "Muskrat Love."
That's just a few. There are plenty more out there. You could put out a box set. Sell it at i-yi-yi-Tunes.
The upside of asking only for original songs, however, is you don't get into rights issues and royalties. These will be songs NBC Universal can literally get for a song, which as it's showing with its eagerness to ditch Chicago for Stamford is no small consideration. Never mind the 100 or so local workers here whose jobs are in jeopardy with the move.
So maybe we should cue up Randy Newman's "It's Money That Matters."
Or Shania Twain's "(If You're Not in It for Love) I'm Outta Here."